universal

this is a little like ripping open a freshly healed scar and rubbing it on asphalt, but think about summer.

i was so hurt to think i needed to be pushed away, or that your life was alright with me as a shadowy ghost.

but i'm still young, and there's still lots of things i can't comprehend.

maybe you are looking at my life in the past week and laughing, i don't know.

deep down, i wish that you would respond in a way that would prove you still care, and that maybe we aren't drifting.

my friends tell me to cut the cords already, forget about you, be done with it.

almost every star we see today is dead.

i think about this,

and i think about if everything i can still feel is just a reflection of a reflection,

passed along trickling streams and shiny stones,

until the light that reaches earth is dim,

and that the source has long burned out.

it really is an old, beaten horse.

this whole situation, and the feeling of destiny, and soul mates, and the strike-anywhere-match girl and ice-cube-tray boy, and then disbelief and disillusionment.

but i can't figure it out. there must be a reason i held on for so long, and even more so, for being so mad.

hopefully the reason doesn't resonate with the "bad things happen so we can deal with crises" theory.

because then i would just be in store for more little crises since collin wasn't as traumatic as i thought,

and eventually i will have to not think about anyone and just be seriously single.

but i don't want that, because deep down i might really need you.

even if the way you say that you're in no shape to be in a relationship means you don't like me anymore,

and the way you say that you're scared to hurt me means you don't like me anymore.

there's just something about a boy who spells 'waste' like 'waist'.